Phrase by 'Mitch Hedberg'

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Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

Author: Mitch Hedberg - American Comedian
  Time , Say , Go , Someone


I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.

Author: Mitch Hedberg - American Comedian
  You , Time , Good , Try


I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.

Author: Mitch Hedberg - American Comedian
  People , Who , Like , Good


I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

Author: Mitch Hedberg - American Comedian


I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

Author: Mitch Hedberg - American Comedian
  Life , Women , Someone , Sex


Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.

Author: Mitch Hedberg - American Comedian
  People , Eyes , Meat , Deli


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