Phrase by 'Mitch Hedberg'
Warning: We collect thousands of phrases from different public resources. We are not responsible for any incorrect content or inaccurately information related to the phrases we collect on our website. Famous phrases, proverbs, short phrases, phrases from kids. Phrases about friendship, love, cinema, family, humor, motivation, mindfullness, improvement, life and much more. Our only goal is to offer you these phrases as an inspiration so that you can make unique dedications, express your thoughts and emotions or share on your social networks. Enjoy our content.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianAn escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianYou , Never , Sorry , Stairs
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianYou , Me , Business , Fire
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianKnow , Down , Real , Hero
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianUp , Just , Dreams , Sick
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianYou , Fun , Late , Mad
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianNever , Good , Matter , Tennis
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianYou , Me , People , Brain
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianWork , Back , Good , Bubble
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianPhrase of the day
www.todofrases.com
I always feel I'm blessed, you know. I thank God for letting me use his voice. That's how I see it. (Aaron Neville)Affiliated links: In case you want to support this project, you can do it by using these links. There will be no cost to you and they may be a little help to the creativity of this project.
