Phrase by 'Mitch Hedberg'
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I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianYou , Crazy , Understand , Drive
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianYou , Know , Fish , Fishing
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianLike , Sitting , Play , Gambling
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianMorning , Night , Last , Last Night
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianMy friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianMe , Want , Said , Friend
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianYou , People , Think , Hands
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianWrong , Amazing , Funny , Cloud
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianYou , Day , Down , Trying
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
Author: Mitch Hedberg - American ComedianPhrase of the day
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