Phrase by 'Fred Allen'
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If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
Author: Fred Allen - American ComedianBack , Race , Human , Get
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
Author: Fred Allen - American ComedianPeople , Time , Funny , Religion
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
Author: Fred Allen - American ComedianLike , Act , Treat , Employees
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
Author: Fred Allen - American ComedianWant , Own , Anything , Coffin
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Author: Fred Allen - American ComedianStars , God , Fear , Church
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
Author: Fred Allen - American ComedianDay , Back , College , Law