Phrase by 'Tommy Cooper'
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Last night I slept like a log. I woke up in the fire place.
Author: Tommy Cooper - British ComedianLike , Place , Night , Fire
Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house.
Author: Tommy Cooper - British ComedianFamily , House , Together , Gambling
My wife said, 'Take me in your arms and whisper something soft and sweet.' I said, 'chocolate fudge.'
Author: Tommy Cooper - British ComedianMe , Sweet , Wife , Chocolate
I bought some pork chops and told the butcher to make them lean. He said, 'Which way?'
Author: Tommy Cooper - British ComedianWay , Some , Make , Said
I'm recovering from a cold. I'm so full of penicillin that, if I sneeze, I'll cure someone.
Author: Tommy Cooper - British ComedianSomeone , Cure , Cold , Full
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
Author: Tommy Cooper - British ComedianWell , Marriage , Wife , Toilet
My wife had a bad habit of biting her nails, but I cured her. I hid her teeth.
Author: Tommy Cooper - British ComedianBad , Wife , Nails , Habit
They always say start at the bottom if you want to learn something. But suppose you want to learn to swim?
Author: Tommy Cooper - British ComedianYou , Always , Want , Start
It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny.
Author: Tommy Cooper - British ComedianHow , Matter , Funny , Audience
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