Phrase by 'Tommy Cooper'

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I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  Today , Window , Funny , Shopping


Electricity is a wonderful thing. Do you realise that if we didn't have electricity, we'd be watching television by candle light?

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  You , Light , Television , Candle


You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  You , Me , Today , Driving


I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  You , Me , Kitchen , Legs


Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  Night , Last , Gone , Last Night


Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  Two , Eating , Police , Yesterday


I'm on a whisky diet... last week, I lost three days!

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  Three , Lost , Week , Diet


A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  You , Age , Woman , Doctor


So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  Your , Thought , Library , Legs


A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

Author: Tommy Cooper - British Comedian
  Help , Looking , Dog , Blind


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