Phrase by 'Steven Wright'

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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian
  Singing , Happy , Remember , Birthday


Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian
  Me , Book , Someone , Desert


I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian
  Day , Tired , Born , Birthday


Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time... I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian
  Time , Think , Now , Right


If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian
  Know , Word , How , Dictionary


I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian
  Time , Breakfast , Restaurant , Renaissance


I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian
  Car , Stop , Driving , Tires


Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian


If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian
  You , Friends , Why , Barbie


I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely in conflict with what I do. But once I deliver the first joke I'm okay. It's like I'm out there all by myself just delivering my lines to nobody in particular without ever trying to notice the audience in front of me.

Author: Steven Wright - American Comedian
  Me , Myself , Nobody , Fear


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