Phrase by 'Rodney Dangerfield'
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianYou , Me , Crazy , Ugly
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMe , Light , Wife , Dark
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMe , Truth , Wife , She
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMe , Know , God , Ugly
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianRespect , Way , Luck , Politician
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMe , He , Surgeon , Cigarette
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianTime , Father , Remember , Said
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMy wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianMe , Day , Eye , Wife
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield - American ComedianFavorite , Dog , Pet , Bone
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