Phrase by 'Phyllis Diller'
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Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianYou , Your , Aim , Aim High
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianTime , Day , Only , Funny
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianBusiness , Down , Cry , Anger
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianYou , Your , Know , Blood
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianBad , Thought , Cooking , Thanksgiving
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianBest , Way , Funny , Kitchen
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianNever , Mistake , Men , Bachelor
My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianLife , My Life , My Own , Laugh
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
Author: Phyllis Diller - American ComedianMoney , Show , Bank , Ghetto
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