Phrase by 'Pete Holmes'

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When I grew up, my model of God was like a lifeguard: I knew He loved me, but He blew his whistle a lot.

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  Me , Like , God , Loved


My mom wanted me to be a youth pastor, and when I became a comedian, she said it was close enough.

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  Me , Mom , Enough , Youth


Literally, my honeymoon was driving to Chicago.

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  Driving , Chicago , Honeymoon , Literally


Losing your faith is an essential part of having a three-dimensional, vivid, vibrant faith.

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  Your , Losing , Having , Faith


When it comes to being called a pronoun, sometimes I like to call other people 'me.' I go, like, 'Oh, these mes voted for Trump. This me is begging for change. This me is driving me to the airport.' I find that useful instead of going, like - because it's so pleasant to go 'you.'

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  You , Me , People , Change


We'd all like to increase pleasure and minimize pain, but the truth is, suffering, even collective suffering that we're going through, is often the earmark that some real change is happening.

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  Truth , Change , Suffering , Pain


The world is so mysterious, and there's so many social interactions where I have no idea what I'm supposed to do - what's being asked of me, what's expected of me.

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  Me , Being , World , Mysterious


A stand-up act is almost like a pool. You know what I mean? It's like a pool, and you're always skimming little leaves out of it, messing with the chlorine level, putting up umbrellas. You're trying to make one little stagnant body of water perfect. Whereas a late-night show is like a river, always moving forward.

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  You , Water , River , Moving Forward


I love alpha males.

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  Males , Love , I Love , Alpha


Every performer I talk to will, with different words, talk about the sanctity of a good standup show, how it can really feel spiritual. When everybody is laughing, fixed on the same thing, you feel like you transcend yourself.

Author: Pete Holmes - American Comedian
  You , Yourself , Feel , Good


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