Phrase by 'Paula Poundstone'
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The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianLook , Face , Problem , Cats
Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianIdeas , Always , Looking , Grow
President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianMyself , Push , Down , Hate
I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianWhen we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianForest , Party , Hard , Rain
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianTime , Feeling , Death , Tired
I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I made noodles, but they were hard. It never occurred to me to check them; I just stopped cooking them when I felt they were ready. Really, I'm too absentminded.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianMe , Never , Day , Cooking
My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianAct , Skin , Fat , Head
When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianLive , Line , Jump , Constitution
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
Author: Paula Poundstone - American ComedianThree , Funny , Thankful , Bag
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