Phrase by 'Paul Merton'
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My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianLife , You , Past , My Life
When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianWork , Morning , Service , Wake Up
The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear.
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianYou , People , Listening , People Say
It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains a roomful of people and then goes home to a lonely bedsit was unbelievably poignant for me because that was exactly what I was doing. I had periods of real loneliness.
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianMe , People , Home , Loneliness
On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'.
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianYou , Me , Day , Mind
I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianAge , Remember , Nature , Funny
All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianTalent , Without , Stand , Disc
I have never sold my story, done 'Hello!' magazine, any of that stuff. I'm not guilty of exploiting my private life for cash and then saying, 'Oh, I don't want to talk about my private life.' I've never crossed that line.
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianLife , Never , Story , Saying
When things are difficult, awful, stressful, the thing that always gets you through is a sense of humour. I don't mean - well, maybe I do - laugh at the hangman as he puts the noose around your neck. But an eye, an ear, for the ridiculous, the absurd in life, can get you through a lot.
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianLife , You , Eye , Laugh
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Author: Paul Merton - British ComedianYou , Always , Know , Understand
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