Phrase by 'Michelle Wolf'
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I'm very quiet off stage. I think I'm a pretty boring person. I'm not super talkative; I spend a lot of my time running and zoning out. I spend so much time trying to write jokes and 'be on,' so when I'm finally off stage, I just want to sit.
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianTime , Think , Person , Boring
I was a kinesiology major in college, which is exercise science. Then, I was either going to get my Ph.D. or go to medical school, but I was kind of burned out after school.
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianScience , College , School , Medical
Mike Pence is the kind of guy that brushes his teeth and then drinks orange juice and thinks, 'Mmm.'
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianGuy , Teeth , Orange , Juice
The most useful information on CNN is when Anthony Bourdain tells me where to eat noodles.
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianMe , Eat , Information , Noodles
I've been lucky enough to do a lot of very interesting things, and every time, I've been like, 'I want to put everything into this because I want to see how far I can go with it.'
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianSee , Time , I Can , Enough
The more confident I am, the more daring I am.
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianMore , I Am , Confident , Daring
A good joke can work in New York and Kentucky.
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianNew , Work , Good , Joke
Honestly, I never really thought I'd be a comedian. But I did take an aptitude test in seventh grade - and this is 100 percent true - I took an aptitude test in seventh grade, and it said in my best profession was a clown or a mime.
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianBest , Thought , True , Clown
As a woman, I have access to hit women in a way that men might not be able to hit them with jokes. I don't mean physically hit. But you know, because I'm a woman, I can say things about women because I know what it's like to be a woman, if that makes any sense.
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianYou , Men , Women , Woman
I would love to be a dad. There are plenty of comedians who have kids. But they're dads. Being a dad is so different from being a mom.
Author: Michelle Wolf - American ComedianLove , Mom , Being , Dad
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