Phrase by 'Lewis Grizzard'
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The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterLife , You , Game , Football
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterThink , Thoughts , Food , Eating
You can write the best column in the world on Monday, and it does you absolutely no good on Tuesday. There is no way to win. You just write until you are tired, they fire you, or you die.
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterBest , Good , Fire , Tired
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterYou , Me , Dog , Attitude
I went last week to get hypnotized. To quit smoking. And the hypnotist said, 'The reason you smoke is you're bitter and depressed.' No, the reason I smoke is the little sucker tastes so good.
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterYou , Good , Smoke , Smoking
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterFind , House , Woman , Marriage
I gave 738 Rotary Club speeches, and it was just driving me crazy, so someone said, 'Why don't you charge money?'
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterYou , Me , Crazy , Money
'Redneck' has been terribly abused as a term. Where I come from, a redneck was a farmer who worked the fields all day and got his neck sunburned. People made fun of them.
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterPeople , Day , Fun , Farmer
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterNever , Family , Alone , Small
I don't think I'm a bigot or a racist. But I have a truck, a Blazer. I drink beer. There are some women I do hate.
Author: Lewis Grizzard - American WriterThink , Women , Beer , Hate
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