Phrase by 'Les Dawson'
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I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianSaid , Moving , Her , Mother-In-Law
I know my name will always be linked with women.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianKnow , Name , Will , Women
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianUp , Where , Marriage , Finish
In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianSpace , Thought , Ride , Moon
The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianHome , Down , Mother , Rain
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianYou , Help , Men , Mother-In-Law
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianTime , Sex , Wife , She
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianAlways , I Can , Mother , Law
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianMe , God , Wife , Thank God
My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.
Author: Les Dawson - English ComedianHouse , Change , Christmas , Mother-In-Law
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