Phrase by 'John Mulaney'
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I look back on being 17 and think, 'Oh my God, how did I not die?'
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianLook , Think , God , Die
The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianYou , More , Time , Better
Being president looks like the worst job in the world.
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianWorld , Worst , Job , Looks
It's been very funny to try to act like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every day, I'm like, 'Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella? Do I carry a briefcase?' Because I'm trying to be some image of the adults I saw on TV growing up.
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianDay , Every Day , Walk , Funny
You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term.
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianYou , Work , Good , Food
All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianMe , Money , Understand , Dad
I never knew you were supposed to push off of your feet when you walked. And I tried it, and I walked much faster.
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianYou , Never , Push , Feet
I don't make plans anymore. So I'm not living minute to minute.
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianLiving , Make , Minute , Plans
If someone had written a review saying, ''Oh, Hello' is stupid,' we would have said, 'Yeah, it is. You're absolutely right.' That people liked it was extremely cool.
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianYou , People , Stupid , Cool
It's important to remember that life is a joke, and that outlook grants a lot of perspective, but I don't think comedy should change and become political due to other things. It should just laugh at that cosmic joke that life is all the time.
Author: John Mulaney - American ComedianLife , Time , Change , Perspective