Phrase by 'Joe E. Lewis'
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It pays to get drunk with the best people.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianPeople , Best , Get , Drunk
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianGo , Drink , Without , Funny
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianMe , Want , Someone , Water
Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianYou , Me , Man , Feet
I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianRemember , Them , Still , Chasing
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianAlways , Up , Wake Up , Ice
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianMe , Know , Tired , Doctor
A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianNever , Man , Without , Drunk
We can afford almost any mistake once.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianMistake , Any , Afford , Once
Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
Author: Joe E. Lewis - American ComedianYou , Me , Need , Friend
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