Phrase by 'Jim Gaffigan'
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I'm from Indiana. I know what you're thinking, Indiana... Mafia. But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.'
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianYou , Know , Best , Thinking
As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianYou , Wife , Personality , Parenting
Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianLife , Me , Your , Book
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby.
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianYou , Know , Hands , Baby
When people look and decide they have nothing in common with me - I'm 43, balding, blond, whatever - there's something absolutely invigorating about winning them over. Even if it's eight people from Sweden who don't understand what I'm talking about.
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianMe , Look , People , Winning
Why would a lazy guy become a parent of five? Then again, why would creative people who inherently don't like change and criticism become writers, actors, or comedians? There's something about this process. I joke about it: My kids have made me a better person, and I only need, like, 34 more of them to be a really good guy.
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianMe , People , Good , Change
There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianMe , Think , Better , Parent
Manhattan's probably one of the bluest parts in the country, and Indiana's definitely one of the redder states. I have sympathy for both sides.
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianSympathy , Country , Sides , Both Sides
Most single guys I know think fatherhood is terrifying.
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianKnow , Think , Single , Most
My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that.
Author: Jim Gaffigan - American ComedianPeople , Who , Guy , Laziness
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