Phrase by 'Jen Kirkman'

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I'd love to be a hit in Germany. I'm working on trying to get a gig as David Hasselhoff's opening act.

Author: Jen Kirkman - American Comedian
  Love , Act , Trying , Opening


Don't overpack your carry-on. You're never going to read that second book or that fourth magazine.

Author: Jen Kirkman - American Comedian
  You , Your , Never , Book


Use your passport for domestic trips, so that way you don't risk losing your license.

Author: Jen Kirkman - American Comedian
  You , Your , Losing , Way


There are a lot of things I might be good at, such as competitive figure skating, window washing from ten stories up, and being an open heart surgeon. I might also make an excellent Kamikaze pilot - except for the fact that I don't want to learn how to fly and have no interest in taking my own life on behalf of Japan.

Author: Jen Kirkman - American Comedian
  Life , Heart , Good , Fly


I have memories of my grandfather Kirkman making mashed potatoes that were so good because they tasted like a bowl of butter. I love my mom's brownies. My favorite thing about both of those recipes is that someone else made them for me.

Author: Jen Kirkman - American Comedian
  Love , Me , Good , Memories


As a woman of a certain age - and really, ever since I hit puberty and my baby-making parts were suddenly subject to public debate - I've been told over and over again that I will 'change my mind' about not wanting kids.

Author: Jen Kirkman - American Comedian
  Mind , Age , Change , Woman


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