Phrase by 'Jay London'
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I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianUp , Girl , Weather , Storm
My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianFamily , Say , Cheese , Pictures
I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianTraining , Off , Military , Convinced
I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianWorld , End , Said , Worry
My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianMe , Get , Boss , Butt
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianMy girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianMe , Down , Personality , Dating
They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianMore , Me , Thought , Said
I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianHere , Driving , Road , Lonely
I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
Author: Jay London - American ComedianYou , Me , Enough , Army
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