Phrase by 'Jay Leno'
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I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianRealize , Until , Chicago , October
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianNew , Out , Medicine , Idiot
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianYou , Laugh , Stay , Mad
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianYou , See , Never , Think
People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it.
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianYou , People , Money , Mind
Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianSay , Give , Patient , Behind
My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianMe , Today , Important , Plastic
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianTwo , Funny , Reason , Driver
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianYou , People , Time , America
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
Author: Jay Leno - American ComedianYou , Want , Bad , Dog
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