Phrase by 'J. B. Smoove'

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I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  You , Me , Brain , You Can Do It


You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  You , Hamburger , Use , Turn


I'm trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don't know if there's any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  Love , Know , Day , Comedy


I'm on my version of the protein diet, but there ain't no protein in it. It's a Krispy Kreme doughnut between two Cinnabons. And you soak it overnight in Red Bull. Then you chase it with a Snickers.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  You , Two , Red , Diet


When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  You , Work , Hope , Speak


All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  Life , You , Well , Happiest


A lot of comedians are selfish.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  Lot , Selfish , Comedians


I have big hands. I can't do the touch-screen thing. I'm a button guy. I want to press buttons.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  Want , Hands , Guy , Big


'The ruckus' is different experiences you go through throughout your life which builds your ruckus points up - your tolerance. You've got to have a high tolerance for dealing with stuff all the time.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  Life , You , Time , Tolerance


I was the hallway clown in high school.

Author: J. B. Smoove - American Actor
  School , High , High School , Clown


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