Phrase by 'Henny Youngman'
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When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianI've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianLove , Me , Woman , Wife
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianHelp , Sick , Woman , Chicken
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianGirl , Night , Door , Hotel
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianMan , Teacher , Poor , Student
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianLive , Man , Pay , Doctor
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianNeed , Glasses , Grandmother , Bottle
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianTime , Army , First Time , Brother-In-Law
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianDo you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Author: Henny Youngman - American ComedianLove , Home , Woman , Marriage
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