Phrase by 'Dennis Miller'
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The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.
Author: Dennis Miller - American ComedianDay , American , Than , Average
Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
Author: Dennis Miller - American ComedianCheese , Washington , Lying , Wisconsin
It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
Author: Dennis Miller - American ComedianTime , Nothing , Culture , Thought
I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian.
Author: Dennis Miller - American ComedianComedian , Credibility
Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
Author: Dennis Miller - American ComedianYou , Money , Someone , Marriage
The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
Author: Dennis Miller - American ComedianHouse , White , Plan , Stay
I want to help the helpless, but I don't want to help the clueless.
Author: Dennis Miller - American ComedianHelp , Want , Helpless , Clueless
A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
Author: Dennis Miller - American ComedianYou , Study , Fat , Police