Phrase by 'Dave Attell'

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Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  You , People , School , Drunk


What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  You , Know , Chicken , Fish


I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  Doing , Going , Anything , Comedy


You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  You , Men , Women , Fire


Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  You , People , Way , Matter


I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  Think , Like , Celebrity , Star


I'm not like a performer type.

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  Like , Performer , Type


My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  Day , Think , Bad , Confidence


I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  Writing , Tell , Jokes , Joke


I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

Author: Dave Attell - American Comedian
  Life , Me , My Life , Imagination


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