Phrase by 'Billy Connolly'

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Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  Man , Trust , Alone , Tea


My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  Thinking , Listen , Someone , Funny


Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  Your , Back , Fame , Cigarette


There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  Two , Seasons , Winter , Scotland


Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  Life , Me , Day , Car


As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It's something they reserve just for me.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  Me , Successful , Something , Just


I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  Never , Know , Why , Go


I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  You , Believe , Funny , Angel


I don't aim to offend.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  Aim , Offend


Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Author: Billy Connolly - Scottish Comedian
  Marriage , Wonderful , Invention , Bicycle


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