Phrase by 'Artie Lange'
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I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I wanted to do was play short stop for the Yankees from the time I was about 5. Then I turned 15 and realized how silly that was and just gave up on it.
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorTime , Never , Short , Doctor
You know you have a gambling problem when it's 4 A.M. at the Mirage Sports Book and you're walking around going, 'Hey you get the lacrosse scores?'
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorYou , Book , Sports , Problem , Walking
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world.
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorWorld , Looking , Funny , Boss
All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once you're laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what I'm saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorYou , Way , Down , Purpose , Mountain
When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard to find on a map, but that they also use the names of seasons as verbs. When they asked me, 'Where did you summer and winter growing up?' I would usually say, 'As a child? The same place I springed and autumned.'
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorYou , Me , People , Time
A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorBeing , Weekend , Christian , Gambling
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorLife , Always , Will , My Life
My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorMe , Always , Mind , Dad
Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do in standup is create spontaneity, somehow; even though you've done this act a million times, you gotta look like you're almost just thinking of it now, to make it entertainer.
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorYou , Look , Know , Thinking
The road is a lonely place, and that sounds like a cliche, you know, like what is my life?
Author: Artie Lange - American ActorLife , You , My Life , Road
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